Having a chronic disease that worsens with time tends to gradually narrow one's focus. It's all too easy to be overtaken by the disease's advancing symptoms - the pains, worries and troubles associated with them.
My own experience with kidney dysfunction, and now end stage kidney disease, has been an experience from which I have learned so much. I've learned to better listen to my body and what it is telling me and also to understand that physical pain and discomfort, though certainly not pleasant or desirable to experience do not have to stop one in his or her tracks.
Anxiety is the bedfellow of sickness, but it doesn't have to have a crippling effect. I've discovered the more I learn about the disease, my treatment plan, and how to cope with the various issues that arise, the more calm I feel and the more ready and grateful I am for my upcoming transplant.
The transplant surgery was moved up a week, so now it will take place on Feb. 8. After meeting with the pre-op staff at Johns Hopkins and discussing the post-op regimen with a very encouraging treatment staff representative, I feel confident that the initial hardships of surgery and aftercare will be worth the eventual changes that lead to better health and a return to a greater quality of life. The anxieties I felt for so long are being replaced with a feeling of excitement and an overwhelming sense of gratitude for the support of family and such a fine medical program.
I know the days ahead will have unique challenges and frustrations, but they will also be filled with new opportunities. As I get closer to the surgery date, I remind myself how fortunate I am to have the chance of a better life, and I never forget all the people who are helping me get there. It is because of them that this life altering step is possible.
I'll end this post with a quote that seemed very fitting to me ~ it pretty much sums up what I am trying to express ...
"Whatever the ups and downs of detail within our limited experience, the larger whole is primarily beautiful." ~Gregory Bateson
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