The Wait Continues

Even though things are progressing as they should, the process for finding out when I will get a kidney transplant feels agonizingly slow.

Last week, Kevin and I went to Johns Hopkins Hospital to attend the long awaited initial transplant evaluation meeting. Over a five hour period, we met with a nurse coordinator, nephrologist, dietitian, social worker, financial advisor, and the transplant surgeon. It was a long, intense day, culminating with a "blood letting." I was required to go to the Hopkins lab and give more blood than I ever had at one sitting! Fortunately, Kevin and I had eaten the sandwiches I'd packed just before I went to the lab to get my blood drawn. Otherwise, I fear I would have passed out!

We were told at this initial consultation that my case would go before a review committee for a final decision regarding my transplant. All of the medical experts we saw agreed a transplant was in order and the sooner the better. Now, it's a matter of waiting to see what further tests I need to undergo prior to surgery, determining whether my daughter is a match, and, if so, scheduling a date for surgery. We are hoping that all will go well and that the transplant can be scheduled before the end of the year.

Immediately after the evaluation meeting, I felt extremely nervous. Even though it was great to finally meet with the Hopkins staff and get a lot of our questions answered, this meeting brought it all home that the transplant is really going to happen...and soon. How soon, we still have to wait and see.

We still have matters of insurance to work through and must choose our provider carefully. That's one of the scariest parts. We have to be really careful of the choice we make to assure adequate coverage not only for the transplant surgery, but for the follow-up aftercare. After the surgery, I will be required to take a whole battery of medications for life to prevent rejection and infection, and, for the first year afterwards, visits to the doctors office will be a frequent occurrence.

My daughter went for her initial blood and tissue tests yesterday. In a couple of weeks, we should know whether or not she can continue to be considered for donation for me. So, once again, we anxiously await results that will determine our next moves in this process.

Desirae and I had the chance to talk a bit more about our joint effort in this process this past weekend when she came down from Massachusetts for a visit. She is facing this with a sense of calm and level headedness and is so supportive of me. It is of great comfort to have such a loving daughter who is willing to be there and give so much. And Kevin has been everything I could ever ask for, too - loving, supportive, and always there by my side. Even though my nerves are a bit frayed, I feel confident in what will be.

So, for now, we continue to wait...

Apples, Animals, and Asian Food

Our neighboring apple orchard

It was a picture perfect fall weekend. After picking Desi up from the airport on Friday night, we were in a whirlwind of activity. On Saturday, we toured our local zoo...always a fun thing to do, but especially fun when feeding the resident wildlife. Desi and I purchased a cup of the zoo's special diet pellets and found plenty of eager eaters!

Feeding the colorful koi and carp

We saw llamas, jaguars, tigers, giant tortoises, monkeys, and a whole slew of tropical birds on our zoo visit. It was exciting to walk the wooded zoo trails and discover what was awaiting us around each bend. Though small, our local zoo is a wonderful place to see wildlife up close. The crowds are minimal and the scenery is as pretty and diverse as the animals within.

Desirae waiting to see the tropical parrots!

Des has always had a special way with parrots. They seem as intrigued with her as the other way around. Not only do they chatter to her, but they mimic her when she bobs back and forth from side to side. It's a riot!

After our zoo trip, we went to the orchard market where Desirae helped pick the perfect pumpkin from the giant "pumpkin pyramid." The pumpkin will stay a pumpkin until the end of the month when it will be transformed into a Halloween Jack-o-Lantern, it's face glowing brightly in the dark.

The weekend went by in a flash. Desirae attended a friend's wedding reception on Saturday night, and, then, after a day of visiting on Sunday with Kevin and me, followed by a scrumptious meal at an Asian restaurant in town, it was time to head back to the airport so Desi could catch her evening flight to Boston.

My fortune cookie from the restaurant read, "You are busy but happy." - Yup, I'd say so :)

September's Song

As the seasons turn, and summer refrains fade out to be replaced by autumn's crisp melodies, it's a great time to reflect on times past and to start looking ahead to the future.

A fun place to do both of these things is the county fair. Here you can hold on to vestiges of summer fun enjoying the rides, refreshments, and many sights of fair life - the farm animals, crafts, and bounties of summer harvests ... and at the same time look ahead to the arrival of shorter days and cooler temps, gleaning inspiration from the many exhibits for creative endeavors you too might pursue in the coming winter months.

Susan at the fair's entrance

Kevin on the ferris wheel ride

A bird's eye view of the fair

Kevin and I always enjoy attending our county fair in September to celebrate the end of summer and usher in a new autumn. A ride on the ferris wheel at sunset has become our tradition!

Our September was especially memorable this year in that we went on our long awaited homeymoon venture to southern Florida. We were able to squeeze in a beach holiday and relished the beautiful, nearly deserted beaches of Sanibel Island. We languished in the warm Gulf waters and searched for shells along the shore.

We also visited Everglades National Park with it's endless "rivers of grass" dotted by snowy white egrets. Outside the park, we took an airboat ride through the glades at an alligator farm. Our airboat guide made us his guests of honor. We're guessing not too many people show up at his alligator farm on their honeymoon :)

After heading south and exploring the gorgeous, tropical Florida Keys, we started the long trek back north up the coast, making a stop at the Kennedy Space Visitor's Center at Cape Canaveral. It was truly amazing to get a glimpse of the very space vehicles that traveled to the moon and back and see the actual equipment used to launch current space missions out into the great beyond.

At the close of the summer season, nature had one more surprise in store for us ... these lovely pale blue and pink morny glories sprung up around our pond. They may have grown from the wildflower seeds left over from packets we'd distributed as wedding favors. I'd strewn some of these flower seeds around the pond, not sure what might come up!

We're preparing for cold nights now, chopping and stacking firewood to keep our cabin warm ... looking back at a beautiful summer of love and wondrous memories and looking forward to the seasonal turn of the wheel and new ventures that lie ahead.

Passages and Pizza

Desirae & A Very Proud Mom on Graduation Day from Johns Hopkins University

Like every first time expectant mother, I was fraught with anticipation for my baby's arrival. The almost nine months I had been waiting seemed like the longest time span of my life. I was more than ready to experience this life form that had been growing within me, so eager to begin the forever relationship of mother and child ... to see, hold, and nurture my baby.

I was told by well-intentioned relations if I wanted to hurry the process along, I should eat pizza. Yes, the zestier the better...but any nice, gooey, cheesy slice of pizza pie was the supposed key to moving things along! So, at nearly nine months to the very day, a pizza party was indeed my course of action...and, wouldn't you know, I went into labor that evening!

My beautiful daughter arrived in the world the next night...all 7 pounds 8 ounces of perfection - our bundle of joy. Seeing her for the very first time is the most precious miracle I have ever experienced...ever.

That day was the beginning of what I can best describe as a love affair - a love so deep and so enriching, a love ever-lasting. Being a mother is one of the biggest joys of my life - not the easiest portion of it, not by a long shot, but endlessly rewarding. I've watched my daughter grow from a helpless, vulnerable, totally dependent baby, to a little girl filled with curiosity and joy for life, only to evolve into an intense, driven, and, at times, cantankerous, moody teen, and then flower into a gorgeous, independent, extremely competent, loving young woman with a generous spirit and strong heart. I've beamed with pride, laughed 'til my sides ached, shuddered with anger, and, through it all, shared her journey every step of the way in awe of the life she was creating one step at a time.

This weekend, my daughter is headed for Massachusetts to start a new job. She goes well prepared with a Bachelors and Masters Degree in her chosen field of study and a wealth of life experience already under her belt. She goes with my blessing and with the confidence that a mother who truly believes in her child has rightfully earned. Last night, she came over for a final visit before starting off on this life venture. Our final meal together? Pizza :)

Aerial Jewels

Flower Kisser

A beauty to the eye

Whirring quickly by

Romancing the flowers

Courting them for hours.

A jewel shining bright

Summer afternoon's delight

Enchanting without a word

Magical hummingbird.

From late spring to early autumn, we are graced with the presence of ruby- throated hummingbirds. These tiny, metallic colored birds use their long, thin bills to probe flowers for nectar, earning the nick-name "Flower Kissers." :) They are especially fond of the more brightly colored flowers, red ones in particular, but they aren't too fussy and seem just as happy with pink or orange flowers, too. Both male and female are about 3 inches long. Their feathers are a metallic green above and their underparts are whitish. Only the male has a ruby-red throat patch.

In addition to flower nectar, the tiny birds love sugar water from specially designed hummingbird feeders like the one in the photograph above. We have two of these feeders set up for our hungry guests. One is situated by our pond and the other is next to my kitchen garden on the patio. Both receive a lot of patrons. Sometimes, there are skirmishes amongst the hummingbirds. Aerial duels transpire if one hummer thinks another is encroaching on a feeding station already claimed as his or her territory. If a feeder happens to go dry and doesn't get filled up immediately, I can get an earful from a scolding hummingbird when I go outside. These frisky little guys have identified me as their waitress and definitely let me have it if the food is slow to arrive!

Our side garden of columbines - a hummingbird favorite!

As summer wanes, days grow shorter, and temps start to cool, we see less and less of our tiny guests. By early autumn, they all have migrated to warmer territories and more fruitful feeding grounds. It's always a little sad to know you're bidding them good-bye for the season. Then again, it's always magical when spring comes around again and the hummingbirds return, lighting up the sky with brilliant flashes of color ... like tiny, sparkling, aerial jewels.

Jug Bay Wetlands Sanctuary

This past weekend, Kevin and I went off the beaten path to Jug Bay Wetlands Sanctuary in Lothian, Maryland, where my friend Susan works as a park naturalist. The sanctuary encompasses about 1,400 acres of freshwater wetlands, upland forests and open meadows that are situated along the eastern shore of the Patuxent River.

Temps soared into the mid 90s the day of our visit. It felt like we were in a sauna as we strolled around the marshland sanctuary. Susan led us down a wooded path called the "Otter Point Trail." At the trail's end, we didn't find any otters, but we did see a pair of ospreys and a magnificent great blue heron as they flew overhead.

The marshland was a vast, panoramic stretch of aquatic vegetation. Susan pointed out that the lighter greenery we were seeing was actually wild rice. As we gazed over this wide expanse of lush plant life with the river snaking its way through it, a "flock" of bright yellow swallowtail butterflies flitted back and forth across the green background speckling it with their vibrant, shimmery forms.

Susan has many tasks as a naturalist, not the least is caring for the resident wildlife inhabitants. In the photograph above, Susan is checking in on an Eastern Box turtle. Susan's done extensive studies of the box turtle population in and around the Jug Bay Sanctuary. Her research provides a greater understanding of this dwindling reptile species and aids in protecting it.

Gems from the Sea

Shells from Sanibel Island, Florida

Of all my collecting ventures, collecting shells is my favorite. When I was growing up, our family had friends who owned a beach home in Ocean City, New Jersey. Almost every summer, we traveled several hours to visit them, usually staying for about a week. These summer vacations bring back some of my best family childhood memories. The days were spent sunning on the beach and bobbing up and down in the ocean waves, and slowly tracing the water's edge for shells. Early morning, right after the sun came up and before the crowds arrived, was the prime time to look for them. Our prizes came in the form of moon snails, like the one almost dead center in the shell display above, and small conch shells. Usually, the tumble of the surf battered the shells making it hard to find intact specimens, but every once in a while you got lucky and found a whole beauty ... a rare treasure!

In the evenings, my family walked the boardwalk, sometimes stopping for a game of miniature golf, sometimes treating ourselves to summertime snacks such as icy cold, syrupy snow cones. My favorite were the bright red fruit flavors that left my lips looking as if I'd applied a heavy coat of red lipstick. Some of our shells admittedly came from the shell shops along the boardwalk. We combed through huge barrels of colorful varieties, choosing a few to add to those we'd found ourselves on the shore.

Beach times have always been special times. When my daughter was growing up, we frequented the Outer Banks in North Carolina on a number of occasions. After she graduated from high school and before she set off to college, we took a trip to Sanibel Island, where we found ourselves in shell heaven. The warm, gulf currents delivered a vast variety of shells to the shores where we beach combed. After returning from that trip, I created a framed display of some of the prettier shells from our collection, a portion of which is pictured above. The tiny coquina clam shells, that resemble brightly colored butterflies when the shells are still joined and opened flat, are some of my favorites. These can be found in an endless array of shades and patterns.

When pursuing my degree in environmental science, I accompanied a class researching tropical marine ecology to San Salvador Island in the Bahamas. Never have I experienced more pristine waters, beautiful tropical beaches, and gorgeous shells than I did in San Salvador!

Below is a photograph of a Queen Conch shell one of my room mates during that venture to San Salvador found and gave to me. She had a very generous spirit and she knew how much I loved shells. It is a priceless gift :) Now, this conch shell rests on the shelf of our cabin's bay window, where it receives the morning sun. The shell's belly glows a rich, rosy pink with the kiss of the morning sun.

Queen Conch from San Salvador, Island, Bahamas

My ode to shells ...

Gem of the Sea

Washed ashore

from depths unknown

Carried to the sands

where I walk

Nature's work of art

trusted to time

A treasure

now held in my hand

Intricate swirls

muted and bright shades

Intertwined

in a network that's one of a kind

Priceless gift

delivered by the waves

This seashell...

the gem of the sea.